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nice vs good

18 Jan, 2025

for the longest time, i've had this theory brewing in my head about nice vs good. they aren't the same thing when you're labelling a person, but instead, we use them as synonyms

nice people are imprisoned by perception. they're slaves to others' opinions > their own reality. bound by society's definition of what's right. grew up being told what they should do. lack agency, so depend on others. they need constant validation & direction bcs they can't shape their own path, let alone shaping the world. these are the ones who keep asking for accountability partners, because they're weak & don't want it badly enough. you'll see nice people everywhere in every industry. shut your eyes & you'll get a face in your mind for sure.

nice people are scared af of hurting others. but then there's the backwards law: the more u try to not hurt people, the more people u end up hurting. they will leave a trail of hurt behind bcs they never understood this simple truth.

good people tho? they've figured their shit out. • they can say no (& sleep peacefully after) • they have agency (don't need validation to breathe) • they serve themselves first (sounds selfish? good.) • they're secure in who they are (no fake personalities) • they know their priorities (& stick to them)

when good people help others, it comes from a real place. not from some desperate need to be perceived well. they do it bcs they want to, not bcs they have to.

i used to be nice. they has been me. it's a by-product of conditioning, childhood & fight/flight decisions you make everyday. things changed when i went into an exile for 2 weeks. i death-stared my fear, conditioning & violence inside. i started serving myself first. i & i alone, am responsible for how i think & feel. no matter how betrayed, guilty, or heartbroken i feel - it's on me. you'll see the difference when you either observe closely, or leave the nice-land.

being nice is a curse. being good is freedom. pick your poison.